From Bowls to Blends: How Weed Helped Me Reclaim My Brain

When I was 17, I smoked my first bowl down by the docks. In my hometown, this was a single-lane dirt road through the forest that dead-ended on a strip of graded pavement descending slowly into the local river. My boyfriend, my friend, and I sat by the water, moonlight rippling the surface as we passed the little glass pipe between us. Then the guy drove us to a local parking lot carnival, and I spent the next few hours in sensory overload.

This is pretty in line with what you’d expect from a normal teenager in the heart of the 90s. Weed was dirty – both in reality and philosophy for my white suburban girl sensitivities. It tasted awful, and my memory of the night recollects an experience laden with hazy cartoon vignettes soaked in paranoia and dubbed to circus music. It was literal nightmare fuel, and as soon as I came down, I swore off the stuff for what turned into decades.

But then the universe put weed in my path again. One night mid-pandemic around our firepit, kids at their dad’s house, I took a few quick puffs off a vape pen loaned to my husband for his arthritis pain – just to, you know, make sure I still hated it. 30 minutes later, mid-ponder of ancient man’s ability to create wildly complex mythologies from the night sky set to the rhythm and relative positioning of stars we’ll never truly see, I was reeling. Wait, do I actually like this?  

I continued to experiment and discovered that smoking pot eased my anxiety. It calmed me down, both softening my thoughts and sharpening my attention. It was the gentle massage my poor overworked brain needed – deserved – at the end of the night. My undiagnosed and unmedicated ADHD, which threatened to derail as my body embarked the perimenopause train, suddenly had a feasible, natural treatment that worked.

That’s when I became a smoker – not ripping Marlboro Lights, but gently toking my weed a few times a day. It added sanity to my transition, which then made me feel more in control of myself on a daily basis. And for an oldest-child, gifted-program, overachieving ADHD and mildly autistic female raised in the 80s and 90s who’d been suffering with the inability to understand why she doesn’t fit in anywhere for the vast majority of her life, this felt pretty fucking good.

Months passed, and a friend asked me if I would be open to trying “her blend” of weed one afternoon spend lazing around her basement craft room. It was a mixture of lavender, mullein, and marijuana, and it was delightful – lighter and sweeter than my normal flower, with that additional something special. I was amazed. You can seriously smoke lavender? I immediately went home and started reading more about smoking herbs – how to do it, why to do it, what to use, etc.

(The result of this afternoon is Mad Russian Apothecary’s WITCH WEED – organic smokable herbs mixed to highlight and support health in different ways. Just mix the herbal blend with your weed and smoke it in your normal method. Head on over to our product description page to read what our individual WITCHWEED blends can do for you. I live on the Full Moon blend for 2 weeks every month, and that’s not even an exaggeration. Like a baby sucking on a binkie.)

My friends, this is my (abridged) journey toward self-enlightenment. I don’t mean for it to be yours, but perhaps it can illustrate my point that our bodies are fascinating, complex living organisms governed by the magic of nature. We spend so much time and attention looking to drug companies for solutions that we’ve lost sight of the simple, natural remedies that used to enhance everyday life.

I’d rather pack my chillum 5 times a day and pleasantly smoke on my deck listening to Stephen Fry’s narration of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire than hope and pray that a drug company has my best interests at heart. I’d rather fill my lungs up with medicine that helps both my body and brain feel better while aiding my ability to function like a normal human. I’m a better employee, a better mom, a better spouse, and a better friend. I like living in my skin more when there is a slight whiff of Eau du Maryjane trailing behind me like a silken veil.  

And, if my silly words and stories can help move you to find a natural solution that works for your body and lifestyle, they’ll have done their job. Cheers, everyone <3